The "no plan" Plan.

Remember those evaluations that we had to take in junior high that were supposed to choose the "best career choice" for us? I still remember it told me I should be a lawyer, scientist, or doctor. Really? I am horrible at math, and was an average science student. That questionnaire=epic fail.  I never understood how a 13 year-old could possibly know what they wanted to do as an adult. When I was 13 I was worrying about boys and getting my braces off, not a potential career.  It seems like we are supposed to know our future before we even know ourselves.

Fast forward 10 years and not much has changed. It took me months to figure out the right college. I was told as a junior I had to pick a major or I could not continue as a student. I tried to stretch my college career a mere 3 months as the thought of graduating and dealing with my never-ending indecisiveness was frightening.
I had a massive panic attack my first day at my "real job."  My desk felt like a jail cell. Freedom was going to the bathroom, and the only connection to the outside world was through news stories I read on Yahoo (Which I'm sure I wasn't supposed to be doing).

So then I started to wonder, should I have taken all of that "planning" seriously? Can you learn to love what you're not exactly meant to do?  How many times can we change our paths as an adult? Is it okay to start in one career and move on to a completed unrelated one? How many people feel like I do?...frustrated, stuck, lost. I went home that night feeling more confused than I had in years. I couldn't shake the feeling, and it was beginning to take its toll on me. It wasn't until someone very close to me sat me down and told me how it is. "You're young, smart, and talented. If you don't like where you're at, change it. Go out and find something better."

I thought about what he said for days. Why was this so hard for me to grasp? He was right, after all.
In the past 4 months I've seen friends move and get jobs, leave jobs and move home, start a family, start college or go back.  I've seen family members completely change careers and be completely satisfied. I've seen people start over, start fresh, start new.
So, who gives a shit about a plan?
These past few weeks have completely changed my outlook on the future.  I don't know what tomorrow brings, and that's okay.  After talking with close friends and family I've realized how silly I am for worrying at all! I'm fresh out of college. I won't always be where I am, and I won't always do what I'm doing. I'm learning to take it day-by-day, to be thankful for what I have and who I am, and know that there are so many amazing opportunities waiting for me!

Lesson learned: At the end of the day it's being grateful for the little steps that lead you to the bigger picture. It's knowing uncertainty isn't always scary. And it's worth taking a step back to think about your next step forward.

So here's to giving the future the finger, to knowing I may not be where I'm meant to be, but confident that everything will fall right into place. Sound like a plan?

"Sometimes the path you're on is not as important as the direction you're heading." --Kevin Smith

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